


audition colorae

by rories



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-23
Updated: 2013-12-23
Packaged: 2018-01-05 17:33:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1096623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rories/pseuds/rories
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>chromaesthesia - the phenomena of hearing colors in music and vowels</p>
<p>
  <i>Loki sees the world in colors.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	audition colorae

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Barkour](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Barkour/gifts).



> "chemistry is you touching my arm and it setting fire to my mind."  
> — Nayyirah Waheed, Flood

He sees the world in colors. 

The sky in Norway is grey. He leaves it at that because describing it – describing the deep grey of the clouds, like smoke from a volcano, deep and dark as if it's trying to hide something; describing the hints of pale blue that attempt to peek out in patches; describing the little shots of sunlight that filter in and out of the clouds as if playing hide and seek with the people on the ground – describing all of that to the people around him is never worth it in the end.

The sky in Norway is grey and Loki – Loki is – 

Loki is.

*****

He's always seen colors when people speak. 

His mother's warm and strong voice, yellow and comfortable with streaks of blue that mark her mysteriousness and highlights of red that speak of her fierce protectiveness. When he was a child, Loki let the colors wash over him, wrapping around him like a warm blanket, comforting and loving. He paints these colors on canvas, tries to recreate the feelings he had when he was younger. 

It very rarely works.

Most of the time he feels nothing, cold and empty, blue and grey like the skies outside his window. 

*****

His father's voice is red. Red like a ruby, strong and vibrant and terrible. It's laced with yellows that Loki only sees when Odin is talking to his wife. The blues that weave in and out are only vibrant at certain times during the year, when Thor is home to visit.

Loki puts them all on canvas, cakes the reds under his nails until he can't take it anymore and scrubs them so hard the water runs red but not with paint. 

He can't be mad, though. It's the only time he feels.

*****

Thor is, of course, a variety of colors that, when seen, makes Loki sometimes want to claw out his own eyes. Blues, both dark and pale together, reflect his brother's eyes and his kindness. The reds that should clash with the blues do anything but. He hates to admit it, but Loki enjoys it when Thor speaks. He may hate every word that comes out of his brother's mouth at times, but the inspiration that comes from the shades of red and blue and purple that wrap around him make it worth it. 

He loves his brother.

He loves his colors more.

*****

Sif is quiet in the mornings, her bare feet padding across his hardwood floors. She knows he's been awake for hours and it's possible he never went to sleep in the first place. She finds him in his studio, sleep pants low on his hips, an old button down open and hanging from his thin shoulders. He has paint on his hands, under his nails, a streak of it on his collar bone, and dots on his nose and cheek. 

She thinks it's the most beautiful that she's ever seen him. 

*****

"What do you paint?" she asks him one morning between sips of coffee and bites of frozen waffles. He's never shown his art to her, not once since they've known each other. 

He doesn't look up from his syrup, doesn't answer her for a long moment. She's about to tell him it doesn't matter, can feel the disappointment in her throat again, when he finally answers. 

"Follow me."

*****

He's never shown anyone his art. Thor has seen corners of it when he forces his way into Loki's apartment for Friday night dinner and Frigga has glimpsed pieces of it when she comes over from time to time. But he's never willingly showed anyone until now.

He's not sure what makes Sif different, what makes her worthy of receiving this gift. He's known her almost as long as he's known his brother, so at first he doesn't understand why now is important, why he can show her his work now.

And then she stands in front of his window, the one he uses for natural light, where the sun filters in between the two adjacent buildings and settles perfectly across the floor of his studio. Her hair is a mess and her make up from the day before is smudged in places. There are bruises on her thighs where he grabbed a little harder than he should have and her shirt – no, his shirt – is draping over one shoulder.

And that's when he gets it. Because she's showing him, in this moment - early on a Sunday morning, when the rest of the world is asleep and all there is is the sun and him and he - in this moment she is showing him her true self. The woman underneath the logistics and bulletproof vests. A part of her that no one sees unless she shows them and he feels something boil in his belly at the thought of her trusting him.

That's when he decides to show her a part of him.

*****

He flings back a cloth over the first canvas, medium sized and dark red, oranges and blues mixed in as an afterthought. The colors swirl together and Sif is reminded of a nebula, vast and ever expanding. 

"This is my father," he says and he runs a finger over a light curve. "This is what I see when he speaks."

Sif can see it too in this. The angry reds and warm yellows, the pale blues. Can see exactly who and what each one represents and it makes her heart ache for Loki. She reaches for his hand and doesn't flinch when he softly pulls away.

He flips back another cloth, stained with paint and patches. The painting underneath is a vortex, blues into reds into yellows, purple streaks like royalty throughout it. "This is Thor," he says and she understands immediately. Blue for honor and red for anger, yellow for joy and happiness. Sif feels like she's looking into Thor's being in a painting. This time when she reaches for his hand, Loki doesn't pull away.

The next painting is revealed and Sif's heart is broken. The yellows are warm as the sun streaking through the studio, the reds strong and powerful, the blues inviting and cool against the harshness of the other colors. She knows immediately that this is Frigga's and her hand tightens around Loki's.

"There's one more," he says as he takes her over to a canvas in a corner. "It's old and not accurate anymore, but," and there he stops, letting go to lift the cloth from the canvas. Sif's heart is in her throat as its revealed and she wraps her arms around her waist as she stares.

If she thought Odin's painting was a nebula, this is a universe. An entirely different realm. The colors bleed together as if water, merging and creating new colors in the middle, but still distinctly different. A dark red into pink, and orange into yellow, purples and blues and blacks and greens. Loki has captured so many colors that Sif doesn't even think she's seen them all.

"Who is this?" she asks and she wants to look at him, wants to see his face when he says it, but she can't make herself look away.

He steps closer to her, wraps a strong hand around her waist to settle on her hip, rests his forehead against her temple and whispers into her ear.

"It's you." 

*****

Loki sees the world in colors.

Sif is red, strong and loud, tougher than he is and proud about it. Sif is blue, steady like the ocean and just as turbulent. Sif is purple, like a queen, head held high and voice strong. Sif is yellow, caring and determined, ready to protect what is hers no matter the cost. 

Loki sees the world in colors.

Loki sees the world in Sif.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to the mods at Mischief and Mistletoe for putting this exchange together and for making me smile when they checked on me during my fight with AO3 formatting. 
> 
> Thank you to me recipient for being easy to please. I hope this pleases you! <3
> 
> This was inspired by me wanting to do a Barista!AU with Loki as an artist which then prompted me to find contemporary artists which somehow evolved into being inspired by [Josh Simpson's Corona Glass Art](http://www.joshsimpson.com/store/home.php?cat=264) which is what all of the "paintings" are based on.
> 
> For reference:  
> [Frigga](http://i.imgur.com/VR1ZAAr.jpg) | [Odin](http://i.imgur.com/UzRND0N.jpg) | [Thor](http://i.imgur.com/Sg7bjb1.jpg) | [Sif](http://i.imgur.com/3aMOvDZ.jpg)


End file.
